episode 2: first impressions are for chumps

How is it possible that it has only been one week? 

I think god/the universe/science/mother nature/whateverthefuckisoutthere/all of the above is playing a massive trick on all of us. Linear time isn’t real. Time is actually a crazy spiral made up of impossibly different building blocks, each one unique in size, shape, color, and most importantly, the way in which it interacts with and effects space, time and the human experience of said phenomena.

This week has felt like an eternity.

I sat through 26 hours of lectures over five days. TWENTY. SIX. HOURS. That is a very long time to be sitting down absorbing new information. To top it all off, I got my period mid week. Those of you readers that have experienced menstruation know first hand just how AWFUL that time of the month can be.  Don’t get me wrong, it can also be a beautiful empowering regulating grounding time… and it can also be awful

Picture this: anxiety/insecurity on irrational steroids + lack of sleep because of cramps/I never really sleep when I have my period + body aches that make me want to assume the fetal position at all times + zits + hormone related eczema flare up + insatiable hunger + fucking Brett Kavanaugh + 26 hours of lectures.

I was dead to the world come Friday at 2pm. 

BUT! Even amidst all of that madness…


[Insert all the surprise face emojis ever]

I went into the week like a fiery knotted ball of anxiety and insecurity [I don’t belong here, I’m too old, I’m not smart enough, this was a terrible idea, I will fail], with a whole bunch of insecurity-inspired preconceived notions as to what business school and my fellow business school attendees would be like [straight-laced, boring, soulless, money-obsessed ickiness]. But the reality was very different!

… I actually really enjoyed the lectures [and even felt kind of prepared at times!]

… I was intrigued and inspired by the subject matter [you know that creative domino effect thing, when one idea sparks another and another and another?! yea, I got that!]

… I genuinely connected with my classmates [they’re all so different and smart and inspiring and curious and want to do good in the world! they’re amazing and I can already tell that I’m going to learn so much from them!]

There were three particularly big surprises this week:

1.     We did a team building exercise at the army barracks near the city, and the officer in charge of our day actually said these words: “I want you to notice how you feel during the day, pay attention to your body language and how you’re acting in your team, and then be curious about what you’re noticing” …. Um, sir. Did you steal my meditation and yoga scripts?!?  Heck yes! Mindfulness in business school!!

2.     The professor of our Introduction to Accounting for Entrepreneurs intensive somehow defied all odds and wove CREATIVITY AND ART into bookkeeping. He made accounting fun! [I can’t believe I just said that] [Also, my dad always tells me that I should marry an accountant… I’m starting to think he may be on to something]

3.    After the first day of lectures, I quickly realized that I am not 18 years old anymore and I absolutely cannot sit in shitty school chairs for more than 30 minutes without getting insanely sore.  So on Tuesday, I brought Peabody [my bright green meditation cushion/exercise ball] with me to class… gotta have that lower back support!  I was feeling rather self-conscious about the ridiculousness of bringing a bright green squishy ball to a lecture, but Peabody and I were welcomed with open arms, and I actually found that I wasn’t the only one who was struggling with aches and pains after sitting for so long!

 So really, I guess business school ain’t so bad after all.

Is it going to be challenging? … Yep.
Will I get bored and annoyed and tired of it all sometimes? … Uh huh.
Will I be googling business lingo from now until the moment I hand in my dissertation? … You know it!

AND, I think it’s gonna be fun :)

Oh, and there was a double rainbow the other day…

If that’s not a sign from god/the universe/science/mother nature/whateverthefuckisoutthere/all of the above, I don’t know what is!