What do you want?

chocolate-covered-strawberries-2.jpg
 

I want chocolate covered strawberries. 

Ladies and gentleman, the way to my heart is through chocolate covered fruit.  Especially chocolate covered strawberries.

This week's blessing was a tricky one for me...  Desire.  Wants.  Dreams. 

What do I want?  

Such a simple question.  But I couldn't seem to find a simple answer. 

Earlier this week, I sat with my friend Jamie, trying to articulate the vague, incomplete thoughts running around my brain about what I want.  I didn't get very far before I gave up, shrugged my shoulders and said "I have no idea what I want."

*pause*

"I want to be settled... but I want to be free."   

As I said it out loud then (and even as I type it now), the contradictory nature of that statement frustrated me.  But its how I feel! 

~

This week, I felt like I was living in three different places; an apartment near Harvard that held my mattress and boxes full of my stuff, an apartment in Porter Square that held more and more of those boxes every day, and a house in Newton where I was sleeping and waking and watering plants.  None of those places felt like home.   

I want to be settled. 

~

Over the past couple months, I have started to put together a plan to travel and train at the start of 2014.  Thailand.  Bali.  Singapore.  Japan.  My hope is to study more yoga, and to learn new forms of healing, bodywork and meditation.  It's adventure time.

I want to be free.  

 
 

I'm still struggling putting into words what truly I want... There are things I want, but am embarrassed or afraid of wanting them, and there are things I know I will want in my life someday, but am not ready to want them just yet...

So for now, I like the idea of soaring through the clouds pulling an infinitely long rope behind me.  Free to fly wherever I want.  Not tethered down, but always connected to my friends, my family, my roots, my home.

Oh and whenever I can, taking a flight break to devour a few chocolate strawberries :)