The Biggest Heart

life is a journey to see how big our hearts can get

The heart can be an intimidating place to hang out in.  

This week, I found myself a little afraid to tune-in to my heart because of the potential for pain.  But then again, I think I'm always in my heart, even if its not a conscious choice I'm making.  In fact, I'm not sure I know how to disconnect.  I wonder if that is something that could be useful to know how to do.... Hm.

Anyways...

I've been thinking a lot over the past few days about choosing to live life in a way that fills you.  Or perhaps I should say that I've been thinking about what fills me.  Can something that is perhaps a little empty fill me?  Is something that is filling always a positive, good thing?  Am I truly filled if my heart isn't in it?  And are the answers the same for everyone? 

I don't have any answers... but that's not really the point, is it?  The point is to simply ask the questions.  Right?  

Haha.... Oh life. :)

~

Tuesday is my dear friend, Jamie's 30th birthday.  Tonight, we celebrated her birth and her life and her all around awesomeness.  She has a big heart.  Maybe even the biggest heart.  I wouldn't be surprised if doctors proved that one day <3

Anyways, halfway through the evening I remembered that I still hadn't done my art project for the week.  An image came to me while meditating on Wednesday, so I knew exactly what I wanted to do, I just hadn't yet put pen to paper.  

My first reaction to the realization that it was past midnight and I was art-project-less, was guilt... I said I was going to do this project, I told myself an art piece a week, and this week I failed!  I just plain forgot and I failed!

My second reaction was indifference.... Oh but who reads the blog anyways, who cares!  It doesn't really matter if I miss one week!  Whatever! 

My third reaction was decisive... No, I have to do something.

So I read the blessing to the room at large and then described the image I was planning to draw....

I pictured a heart (the organ, not the shape) with rivers flowing out of the arteries and veins.  In my mind, the rivers come together to form a wider river circling around the heart.  I saw it as a mix of pen and water colors... dark colors... deep reds and blues.    

I would love to live
Like a river flows,
Carried by the surprise 
Of its own unfolding.

When I finished explaining the image, the birthday girl scampered off to her room and came back with this... 

Someday I'll make that art piece that I imagined... who knows, maybe it'll fit into the blog for this next week.

But this week, it's Jamie's art ~ Jamie's heart.  <3

 

PS In case you noticed and were curious... yes that is a canoe full of amazing women rowing along the heart river in the image at the top of the blog post ~ thanks, Brooke!