This week, I thought I knew exactly what my plan was for the blog. Why wait for retirement? Why not do everything I want to do right now?
So I meditated, and danced, and slept a lot, and listened to beautiful music, and bought myself a gift, and ate delicious food. It was great. On Monday, during a conversation with my cousin, Meryl, about our recent experiences with meditation, Meryl called us "Meditating M&Ms." I misheard her and thought she said "Meditating Onions."
So there it was, my art project for the week: a light-hearted painting of a meditating onion. Perfect! I felt like the week was presenting itself to me in a neat package with a sweet little bow on top.
But life is never a neat package with a sweet little bow on top. That's part of what makes it so terrifying and so profoundly beautiful.
On Friday, I was informed that someone very dear to me is very sick. On Saturday afternoon, a friend came to me with news that her grandfather, and best friend, had passed away that morning, just days before she was supposed to visit him.
She came into my room and sat on the floor. Tears ran down her face as she talked about her Opa. I listened to her memories, I listened to her pain. She listened to my fear about my sick friend, she listened to my guilt about my own heart.
We sat together on the floor and hugged. She held me and I held her, each of us raw and open; one tender heart beating against the other. Yet amidst all the pain and fear and vulnerability, there was strength. And love. How blessed are we to feel so deeply, to care so completely, and to love so honestly? It takes courage to bond to another human being so fully, for when they are gone, we suffer, when their lives are threatened, so in turn are ours.
Last night, I thought about life - the fragility, the beauty, the darkness. I thought about love - the people I love, the importance of partnership, the heartache. Then I wrote this poem...
In case you can't read my handwriting...
The Fertile Void
life is worth fighting for
love is worth something more
to have someone to hold & cry
to be someone to ask her why
why she holds so close to her heart
the fertile void, her endless dark
to have a shoulder to kiss upon
to be an ear when day is done
to hear him when he speaks his truth
the fertile void, his endless youth
he'll fight until the very end
for her life, for his best friend
together they will soar and fly
the fertile void, their endless sky
I want to end my post this week by asking a favor...
I ask that all of you reading this tell the ones you love that you love them. Often. And with your whole heart. You don't need flowers, or balloons, or tears - just your words. And not because they could die tomorrow, or because you don't think they know it - but simply because you love them... And what a beautiful thing to get to say out loud to someone.